


five times keith wouldn't take off his gloves, and one time he did

by koganewest



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, It ends happy I promise, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith angst, M/M, Pining!Keith, a bit of, but then, i love my baby too much to watch him suffer, kangst, klance, klangst, pretty much sad, until the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:44:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganewest/pseuds/koganewest
Summary: He recognizes that he has anger management issues. He recognizes that he punches things too often. He recognizes that he pushes people away. He recognizes he’s got a problem with his hands.In a way though, the gloves are his armor.





	five times keith wouldn't take off his gloves, and one time he did

1.  
Anyone who’s ever met Keith Kogane knows he has a bit of a temper. 

At the garrison, his peers are aware of it; they never dare to provoke him during classes or flight simulations. His teachers are aware of it; they have difficulty correcting him because he never acknowledges when he’s wrong. He has trouble cooperating with those he works with. 

He just never knows how to manage his anger. Maybe he was just never taught to do so, but it becomes a big issue while at the garrison. 

He’s failing, and he knows it. It isn’t a lack of skill - quite the opposite actually, he is a very talented pilot. However, he cannot participate correctly in group exercises, team building, or anything that remotely involves communication. 

He doesn’t expect to be expelled, however.

He’s sitting in the Dean’s Office for the fifth time that week when he finds out. Him and the commander have a good relationship. He understands Keith probably had some underlying issues that cause him to be the way he is. And he recognizes that, while Keith is disruptive, he is never malicious. 

When he breaks the news, Keith is stood up and yelling. His face is red, his chest is heaving angry breaths. The commander sits and waits for him to finish screaming about how it isn’t fair, it’s bullshit. 

His words lack conviction. Even Keith knows 5 infractions in a week leads to expulsion. 

He does now, however. Before he even knows what’s happening, he throws his chair aside and storms toward the doors. The commander had anticipated this reaction, but he isn’t done talking to Keith. The doors do not open.

“Great, you’re trapping me in here?! What a fucking day,” he shouts.

That’s when, with all of the strength he can muster, he punches the door.

He didn’t expect that to open it. He has a bad habit of punching things when he’s angry. The sheet of metal dents a bit, but the damage is nothing compared to Keith’s fist.

The commander quickly stands up as Keith screams another obscenity and clutches his hand. He approaches the boy warily; he’s breathing heavily, red in the face, and got this furious look on his face that the commander has never seen before.

“Okay, okay, take your gloves off. Let me see,” he instructs. He wants to assess the damage and make sure the kid didn’t break his hand or something. Keith is having none of it. 

“Fuck no, let me out of here!” He turns away to face the door again, clearly in pain. Without question, he opens the doors and Keith takes off running.

He finds out later that a hoverbike had been stolen. He never sees Keith again.

2.  
The Trials of Marmora take a lot out of Keith.

He’s weak and limping by the time he returns to the castle, knife clutched tightly in his left fist. When they introduce Kolivan to Allura and the others, he masks the pain easily. But as soon as it’s over, Shiro helps him to his room. 

“Doesn’t look good,” he notes at the wound on his shoulder. Keith is so numb that he barely feels it. He doesn’t bother responding, just lets his head hang in exhaustion. “Go to bed, Keith. You need to heal.”

He decides to shower first, however. He lets the hot water burn his skin. It makes him feel a bit more alive, even while his mind is completely blank. 

His hair is wet and cold on his neck when his head finally hits the pillow, but he passes out immediately. 

It’s when he wakes up that it hits him.

And all of the sudden, he’s angry.

Angry at his father for not telling him who he was. Angry at Shiro for trusting him with leading the team when he can’t even manage himself. Angry at his mother for abandoning him before he could even understand what was happening, for leaving him with his father, for being galra.

For making him galra. 

He doesn’t even think twice when he punches the wall next to his bed.

Luckily no damage is done, but it does wake Hunk in the next room over. Keith is zoned out, panting angrily, when he shows up in the doorway. “You okay, bud? You don’t look good.”

“I’m part galra.” He doesn’t think before he says it. He’s irritated and overwhelmed and frustrated, but he just needs to get it off his chest. Hunk’s expression is unreadable and it makes Keith’s stomach churn. 

“You’re still you, Keith.”

He doesn’t know why that makes him start to cry, but it does.

He collapses into Hunk, who just holds him there for a few minutes while he sobs brokenly. “Please don’t tell anyone yet,” he begs. Hunk pats his back and assures him he won’t.

“Is your hand okay? Let me see, I’m sure your knuckles are bruised,” Hunk says gently, reaching for Keith’s hands. But the boy gets defensive and pulls away frantically.

“No,” he denies defiantly and pushes past Hunk, exiting the suffocating room.

He can feel his walls rebuilding around him. He doesn’t need anyone. 

3.  
Keith is in the lounge with Pidge when Lance walks into the room, Allura at his side. He’s talking about something Keith can’t decipher from the couch he’s on. 

Pidge is half asleep against his shoulder, and he’s ridiculously thankful for the comfort. He’s been on edge all day, and she could tell. Pidge was a good friend for that; she always knew when something was wrong and didn’t interrogate him like Shiro does. 

When Lance and Allura sit on the couch opposite him, they’re very close - Keith can’t help but notice Lance is being dangerously flirty. His shoulders tense and it wakes up Pidge a bit. She looks up at him, eyebrow raised questioningly. He just closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, shaking his head dismissively, ignoring the sympathetic look he gets in return. She must know. He isn’t exactly subtle. 

But it’s when Lance leans over and whispers something in Allura’s ear that Keith just loses it. Lance has got this stupid smile on his face, Allura is blushing, and Keith is fucking done. 

He stands abruptly and storms out. 

He hears Pidge following him, but he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t fucking care, because it hurts. He can’t keep watching Lance do that in front of him, he just can’t. 

His breathing is rapid, he can feel his face heating up. He’s at his room before he knows it, but the door won’t open. He shouts and starts pounding his fists at the door. He doesn’t realize the slices in his hands from the screws in the paneling until he hears Pidge screaming at him.

“Keith, stop! You’re hurting yourself, you’re bleeding! Stop, calm down!” When he looks down at her, he realizes how stressed he’s making her. There are tears in her eyes, and he immediately feels bad. “Look at your hands,” she says quietly. 

He’s a bit horrified when he looks down. His gloves are a bit torn, and the exposed parts of his hands are cut up and bleeding. She reaches out to remove the gloves but he pulls away. She looks a bit lost for a second but recovers quickly and says softly, “It’s gonna be okay, Keith. Let me know if you need to talk.“ 

He’s beyond grateful for her understanding. She didn’t try to push him to talk about anything, doesn’t question his defensive behavior. She just comforts him passively and gives him space.

He recognizes that he has anger issues. He recognizes that he punches things too often. He recognizes that he pushes people away. He recognizes he’s got a problem with his hands. 

He knows it’s a bit weird, but no one had seen his hands in years. The gloves were a gift to him from his father, given right before the last time he had seen him. He sleeps in those gloves, only taking them off to shower. He feels so vulnerable without them, he can’t ever let anyone see him without them. 

It’s not that he didn’t trust Pidge, or Hunk, or his commander at the garrison, it’s just that the gloves are a part of him. They’re his armor. They’re his protection.

4.  
All hell breaks loose when the team realizes Shiro is missing. 

They suspect he’s been captured by the Galra or worse - dead. But it doesn’t matter because he isn’t here and the team can’t function without him. Keith can’t function without him. 

In hindsight, he hates himself for letting his guard down, for getting close to Shiro, for trusting that he’d always be there. But now that he isn’t here, Keith is a fucking mess. 

In addition to the detriment of his absence, they need a new leader. As hard as it is to accept that Shiro is gone, they have to be able to form Voltron to fight the Galra and, ideally, save their leader. 

The paladins are in the process of trying to connect with the Black Lion, but it isn’t working. Keith knows Shiro wanted him in charge, he’d said it before, but he doesn’t want to be. He’s got too bad of a temper. His impulsive behavior would never make him a good leader. He’s nothing like Shiro.

But when it’s finally his turn to try to connect with the Black Lion, it has a different opinion. 

He doesn’t punch anything this time. However, the next few days have his nails digging into his palms. 

He doesn’t take off the gloves. He doesn’t want to see how much he’s added to the old scars. 

5.  
He knows he should be happy for his team. 

They’re going back to Earth to visit for a day or two, just to let their families know they’re alive. The trip was suggested by Pidge, who was recently reunited with her brother. He knows she was trying to make them all as happy as she is now that she knows Matt is okay. 

He knows he should be happy for his team. 

It’s so obvious how homesick Hunk and Lance are. The trip is supposed to help them get through the next few months away, and they know it’ll do them good. Even Shiro has people to go home to.

He knows he should be happy for his team. 

He isn’t. 

Instead, he’s got this malignant jealousy in his veins, and he hates it. Keith doesn't have a home. He doesn't have anything but an empty shack. Everyone on the ship is practically buzzing with excitement. It’s making Keith a bit sick, if he’s honest. 

He locks himself in his room until they land, and, the second they do, Keith is gone. 

He doesn’t know how long it takes him to reach the shack he used to live in. Or, what’s left of it. By the looks of it, it must’ve burned down. There’s ash and dust everywhere. The only thing he can make out is the outline of the place. 

It’s a good thing he’s in the middle of nowhere, because he just screams. 

But then he remembers the box he’d buried in the back, filled with belongings from when he was younger. He’d buried it cause he didn’t want to see it but didn’t have it in him to throw it out. He digs through the rocky dirt with his hands for what seems like forever. 

When he finally uncovers it, he notices his hands are a wreck. There are shards of rock wedged beneath his fingernails, making him bleed. There’s dust in his wounds. He still doesn’t take off his gloves. He honestly doesn’t feel anything. He’s just concerned about what’s inside the box. Cautiously, he lifts the lid. 

Now, Keith had forgotten what he’d put in there, but he recognizes immediately when he sees it. There’s a small lion plushie and a sealed letter. It’s labeled “For my baby boy, on his 18th birthday”. He knows it’s from his mother. 

Keith had turned 18 while at the garrison, but no one really knew. He’d buried the box years prior and had forgotten about its contents, but now the letter seems like the most important thing in the world. He can’t open it though. He doesn’t know why. 

He does know why though. 

He’s scared. 

Keith Kogane, Paladin of Voltron, member of the Blade of Marmora, is scared of a letter from his mother. He knows he’s being irrational. 

But what if he opens it and there’s just a half-assed letter from a woman who doesn’t care? What if it’s a list of all the reasons she left? What if it’s an explanation of everything he did as a child that drove her away? What if it’s a description of why he isn’t worthy of her love, or of anyone’s? 

He can’t bear the possibilities. He tucks it in his jacket pocket and heads back to the castle. 

+1 

In the end, it’s Lance who convinces him to read it. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” They’re sat on his bed together, the sealed letter clutched tightly in his hands. “I don’t know if I’m ready to know,” Keith’s reluctant tone is obvious, he feels so vulnerable. He does trust Lance, but this is a serious part of his past.

“I can give you space, if you want,” he offers softly, placing a gentle hand on Keith’s shoulder. 

“No, no, don’t leave, I can’t do this by myself, I’ll never open it.” The pleading in his voice hurts Lance and the last thing he wants is to leave Keith alone for this, but he knows his boyfriend. He knows he’s better off doing this without him. He knows this is a big part of Keith’s life. He knows he needs space to get through it on his own. 

And Keith knows it too, because when Lance gets up he doesn’t protest. He does, however, look up at him as he speaks again. “I’ll be in my room when you’re ready,” Lance promises him, leaning down to kiss him softly. “I love you,” he mumbles into his lips, then leaves.

Keith stares at the unopened letter. He stares at the writing on the front. 

And he makes a decision. 

He takes off his gloves. 

He opens the letter. 

_My baby boy,_

_It’s hard for me to write this letter for many reasons; the first being that I can’t imagine you at 18 years old. You’re just a little baby. I’m sat next to your crib and you’re fast asleep. You have wild hair and beautiful gray-purple eyes._

_I’m sorry I can’t write a letter for each birthday. I don’t have much time to do this._

_At this point, you aren’t a baby, so I’m going to be honest with you. There is war going on. Maybe you are fighting for the greater good, or maybe you aren’t aware. You need to join the fight. You are special. You are Galra. You may despise this part of you, but we are not all evil. Use this to your advantage. Fight for the end of Zarkon’s reign._

_I am needed in his fight. I hope you never thought that I_ chose _to leave you. I did not want this. How could I ever want to leave you? You are my son, Keith. I love you._

_It is because I love you that I have to leave. I am fighting so you might have a better life, a peaceful life._

_So, my baby boy, just remember that I never meant to abandon you. I’m so proud of you._

_Much love from wherever I am,  
_Your mother_ _

__

__

Keith is crying by the time he’s done reading. He can barely see the paper in his bare hands. He wants Lance there, but he can’t bring himself to get up from where he’s sitting. He feels frozen. The words echo in his head. 

__

__

The happiness he feels is bittersweet. It’s absolutely life changing to know that his mother hadn’t wanted to abandon him, but it’s also heartbreaking that he can’t see her. He’ll never be able to find her, she might not even be alive.

But, for right now, he’s happy. He finally knows his mother loved him. And it’s the best feeling in the world.

He makes his way to Lance’s room, letter in hand. He’s at the doorway when he sees him and immediately takes him into his arms. Keith doesn’t quite know why he starts crying again, but it’s okay cause Lance has got him. 

“She l-loved me,” his voice is gravelly and weak when he whispers the statement into Lance’s shoulder. 

“Of course she did,” he replies, squeezing Keith tighter for a brief moment before pulling away. He wipes away his tears and then grabs for Keith’s hand to hold, but then he realizes. “Your gloves! What- where are- why?”

“Because I don’t need them anymore. They were my armor, but I know now that she loved me. And so do you. I don’t need protection from that.”

He looks at Keith’s hands. They’re calloused and heavily scarred. His fingers are a bit crooked, his knuckles a bit swollen, and his skin a bit bruised, but it doesn’t matter. Lance loves them anyway. “You are the strongest person I know. I am so proud of you, Keith.”

The sincerity in his voice makes Keith a bit nervous, so he laughs, pulls Lance in to kiss him deeply. When he pulls away, their foreheads remain resting together. “Love you too, idiot."

**Author's Note:**

> so i pretty took a nosedive into the voltron fandom so here's this. other stuff on 


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